In a perfect world, I’d be experimenting with sourdough breads regularly. I’d create boules of beauty, and share them with friends and family.
However, this isn’t a perfect world. A handful of close friends are gluten free. I rarely get to share the things I cook and bake because I’ve messed something up just enough that it doesn’t feel fit for sharing, or I’m just make enough food for myself for the week. At the end of the day, I’m just feeding myself.
I do make bread on occasion. I even had a rye sourdough starter going for over a year. But those two statements? Rarely done at the same time. When I make bread, it’s usually with SAF instant. When I was maintaining my sourdough starter, I was just finding ways to cook the discarded starter. I was almost never making proper bread with my starter. It even got to a point where I forgot I had a starter hanging out in my fridge. I literally did not notice it in my fridge until about two months after its last feeding.
Even then (!!!), it took me a couple of weeks to finally toss it in the trash. Some part of me hated feeling like I was giving up on a project. But logically, it didn’t make sense to try again. More so, because I have a place in a 10 minute walk away that does a wonderful sourdough. I’ve started going there a bit more frequently because I absolutely love their sourdough pizzas, but you can pick up bread to take home. I can spend 2-3 days making sourdough bread on my own, or I can spend $4 – $7 at my local restaurant.
It will do me more good than harm to recognize what I am willing and not willing to do. If I didn’t live so close to awesome bread, I’d probably feel differently about this. Or if I had a large family to feed, which I don’t.
But you know what they say: when one door closes, another opens.